When I left Primary school I was the only person in my class to go to a different secondary school so I was on my own. I knew a few faces from other local schools but I had no real friends in my New Secondary school so it was a big step for me.
I started first year with a complete class of strangers who a lot of became quite good friends through school, I was always someone who was independent but in this case I needed to fit in and I had to try my best to do so. So I instantly became friends with people who were so different to me, I was a plain jane gal from a tiny school where sport was everything & all of a sudden I was in this Huge school of hundreds of students where 13year olds had full faces of make-up. So yeah this was huge for me to adapt to, but I did.
Then came the situation of Boys ... Now I had never thought of boys in any other way than my friends as I was just from such a small place and was so blind to all of this. I can't say I was confident which at that age you wouldn't expect someone to be confident with "having a crush", So my first boyfriend came on the scene it lasted like a few weeks or something & that was over LOL serious stuff right there.
I became friends with a group of people who were so much more mature than I was they were the same age as I was but It matured me and I'm not sure if that was a good thing or Bad. Over my 5 years in school I went through the whole Drama of friendships ending, being on my own, Getting a boyfriend who I was with for nearly 4 years of being in school & that ended for numerous reasons mostly because our personalities were TOO alike and if that person is reading this he is probably laughing at how true that is but Hey That Relationship thought me so much and I'm always thankful for that because I wouldn't be where I am now If i didn't go through it all so Thank You to him as we basically grew up together and learned a lot.
So I sat my leaving cert and I had already been accepted into my college course which was ITEC Beauty Therapy in LA College of Creative Arts. Now I decided with my parents that I would go to a private college because after continuous viewings of colleges nothing compared to the way of the Private college. I knew I would have people judging and passing smart remarks like,
"Oh look whos going to Private college, Mammy & Daddy Must have loads of money",
Well no that was not the case, I was NOT entitled to a GRANT !!! My Dad being in the Irish Army had gone overseas for 6 months to work & my Mam was child caring to help support me through college as well as making money for paying the house mortgage, putting food on the table, Petrol in the Car etc etc, For all this I am forever grateful as I wouldn't be where I am now if I didn't have that support.
I always had people saying how my parents always gave me money, Paid for everything, etc etc, But at the end of the day I am now in the position that I can pay back my parents & pay for my own life and future,
I wouldn't be able to do any of this if I hadn't got that support in the first place so thank you Mam & Dad, I love you both.
When I left secondary school I had all of about 2 friends, Over time them friendships faded. Not exactly sure how and I always wonder why, but I just guessed that's what happens when everyone goes to separate colleges in different counties.
Something similar happened in College, I made a great group of friends, I lived with 3 lovely girls from 3 different counties who were absolute darlings to live with & always knew how to gather a gang for a party. In my college class I had a few girls I was closer to than others, We done everything together throughout the college year & always said we would stay friends but once again friendships fade and people move on with their lives. Now at this rate I was just accepting the fact that maybe people just didn't want to be friends anymore and had other friends to pay their attention to.
I really think this is where I started to suffer with my confidence, I felt like I was never good enough to fit in with people. I always came across as a confident person but for people who actually knew me they knew I wasn't as confident as I was showing. I always felt like I was the second choice and that people would only ask me to do stuff if someone else had already said no to them. I felt REPLACED !!!
I graduated college and moved on with my life, I came to the conclusion that if someone wants to talk to me they will & if they don't well that's ok. My Mam has always been my bestfriend but she really became that person that I told everything to. She was who I confided in.
Then I moved to London on my own to work, I had an Aunt and Uncle there so I wasnt 100% lonely but at the same time I didnt have friends who I actually knew and I found it so hard to mix with everyone there, I more so had colleagues than friends. I spent some time working there and moved back home. I Started working in a spa & once again the girls there were really just colleagues.
I met my boyfriend August 2014 & that day I found my bestfriend. ( Yes grab a bucket eww so cheesey)
Seriously tho I did we clicked straight away & it was like we had been friends all our lives.
April 2015 I started working in a new place Called The River Spa in the Knightsbrooke Hotel. Now these girls are not colleagues these girls are like a family, seriously its just like we are a big group of friends who work together, we go nuts at eachother now and again but that expected in every work place especially with all the Hormones flying around the place but we really do work well together.
I have 2 bestfriends who I will not let leave my side they are stuck with me for the rest of our lives, Sorry guys :) But yeah they are amazing I could go on and on about them we are so alike but so different at the same time & I think that contrast is needed in friendships because we are not afraid to tell each other to grow the hell up or just to wake up & smell the fresh air. We are really brutally honest with eachother and I think that's why we all get on so well.
"No matter how hard the past, You can Always Begin Again"
-Buddah
Much Love Beauties,
Kayleigh Xx
No comments
Post a Comment